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After Your Child Divorces

Marjorie Lee Chandler
Published by Zondervan Publishing
ISBN: 0310205549 (1997)

When a child of yours (or for that matter, a sibling or close friend) divorces it is easy to get so hung up on the reasons and the wrongness of it that you miss the opportunities to minister Christ-like help. Chandler does not dwell on the reasons or blame of divorce. Her focus is on what you, the parents and family of one of the divorce partners, can contribute towards the healing. She offers simple practical advice, from surviving when you first hear of it, to listening, and how to cope if your child moves back home with you, and what you might do if they bring back children and a totally different lifestyle or standards than you have set for your home.

The second half of After Your Child Divorces moves on to when the family circle changes. A healing process must take place, but it takes time. Anger has to be managed and trust rebuilt, and there is the challenge of deliberate grandparenting in complicated step-families, or over long distances. The many practical suggestions Chandler makes indicate that she has been over this ground and had carefully researched even beyond.

The many anecdotal vignettes throughout the book make it easy to read, and the little skit scripts are designed to role play in a class or recovery group where this is used as a study guide or discussion outline.

I recommend this book to parents - and siblings - of a divorce in the happening. Ours is an average family. As the eldest of five, I prayed my heart out for reconciliation when one brother divorced his wife; three years later they were remarried to each other - praise God. Then a sister was deserted by her husband, and I joined her and the children in praying daily for his return, until he married the other woman. Now another brother is filing for divorce! Our parents were too infirm to understand or apply these practical steps, but perhaps I can do more. It's a matter of gathering ideas such as these. And never ceasing in prayer!

(Reprinted with Permission from Provident Bookfinder)

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