In my novel, Ruthe's Secret Roses, the heroine fights off a number of guys who are attracted to her. As I work on the sequel in which she finally experiences the romance of her dreams, I need to do a detached study of what did not appeal to her in the men she's met so far. Here's that lineup.
Swearing, smoking Ross, strikes her as immature, and needing constant affirmation. She finds it easy to say no to him. Which only seems to turn him on.
Lloyd, Cathy's boyfriend, wants Ruthe because he heard of her vow to let God choose a mate for her. He waits to be chosen, but I suspect he adores her exactly because she is unattainable. A lack of communication creates false hopes for him, and causes Ruthe to tip-toe around him, unsure of how to resolve the issue.
Dr. Davie Pollock likes Ruthe's nerve, her skill with people in crisis. She finds his dimples cute, but she sees immaturity in him too, and takes him in hand to guide him through a romance with her friend, Laura.
The police officers, Ginter and Aubrey - admire Ruthe's zeal in rescuing the perishing. They find her an oddity, but she doesn't take their teasing for more than that.
Charlie Brown the sergeant admires her for the miracles like Lisa's transformation. Ruthe seems to know how he thinks, and plays along, but she sees nothing romantic in their relationship. He's ruled out.
Now Jonathan is another story. When he returns, he is grateful because she brought him to face to face with God. His life is transformed, and he credits Ruthe to a large degree. She recognized his leadership skills in his first state as Jon, when his gang held her captive, but the new man, Jonathan, plays some violin strings inside her body that surprise her.
So why doesn't Ruthe let herself fall in love with any of them?
Do some personality analyses. If you enjoy novels, I bet you do this without knowing you do it. So if you haven't read the book, (hint-hint...) you can get it to do this for real.
You'll need to answer some key questions;
What are Ruthe's ideals? Her most important values? It's her intimate friendship with the Lord Jesus. Any man who places less value on that than she does has a slim to zero chance.
She enjoys rescuing people in trouble. A possessive man who can't share her interest is out too.
What example did she see in her own father? She's been embarrassed by his lack of tact and thoughtfulness. Do you suppose she guards against those traits?
What types of men does she admire and respect?
In the first novel, she is sensitive to Ian O'Brien's pain, and responded to the respect he showed her.
Scottie, the young man of the couple she invited to her grandmother's wins her respect too, for his tact and morals. Later she is touched by his thoughtful insights even though she is afraid to confide in them because of Isabelle's lack of ability to keep secrets. Because he is married, Ruthe naturally, does not even consider him for romance; I'm talking here of the male traits she regards highly.
Ruthe keeps certain parts of her life discrete - secret. What would it take for her to share those with a man?
Do you see a profile of her Prince shaping up? Watch for someone like this --
He will also be intimate with the Lord, compassionate, and ready to help others without hesitation. Nor will he put her down for her ideals and standards. This man will be mature with his basic needs met, unself- consciously focusing on others. Someone people come to her for advice and counsel. Someone Ruthe can trust totally with all her secrets, for he will understand her. A lot like her current best Friend.
But that's an uncommon man. Where might Ruthe meet him? What will have made him into that kind of man? Can you picture the tender romance they'll have? What about the kind of things they'll do together?
I'm planning a very fulfilling romance for the two of them! Just you wait!
Meantime, if you are single and looking for romance, I want to suggest that you hold out for the ideal marriage partner too, just like Ruthe and I! The one God is preparing just for you. He is a perfect matchmaker.
But don't sit passively and wait. Study yourself, and make a profile of the perfect complement to YOU.
You want to recognize God's match - when he or she comes on the scene. However, focus on doing His will and growing mature and responsible yourself so you'll be a worthy catch.
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Ruth Marlene Friesen makes friends wherever she goes!
Her friends become her rare roses at Ruthes-SecretRoses.com
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