Do you DO Reunions? I have a sister and an aunt who have always said that they don't "do" family reunions. But they are coming to one this weekend. That tickles me with delight. Because I'm going to see to it that they enjoy this one.
Why don't some people care for family gatherings?
Very often the first reason is that they don't feel close or connected to the extended family, and are afraid they'll feel like outsiders.
Perhaps they remember unhappy scenes from their own family life, and fear such tensions will be present at the reunion too. Or they expect someone to be there who has hurt them in the past. Once wounded - twice shy, right?
I see several important values in having and attending family reunions, even if there is a chance of seeing someone who stirs up painful memories.
That might be just the place for a reconciliation! Both parties will be healthier for it. Go! Be prepared to initiate such a healing. And if you just can't make it happen, focus on enjoying the others.
If you wait to meet your relatives at a funeral you will find that is not the best time to visit and catch up on positive events. Seek out your reunions. That's the place to make friends with cousins and aunts and uncles that you haven't seen for years. They've come hoping for a cheery visit with others too, so you'll never find them in a more receptive mood to chat with you. Your every day worlds may be light years apart but you could discover that you are kindred spirits just the same.
It is my own experience that I make friends with the most interesting characters at a reunion, people I'd never have picked out at church or a bus stop, and as I listened to their stories I discovered things that helped me understand my own traits and attitudes in a new way. They come from the same blood stock as I did, or they've married into it and brought new traits.
Being a caregiver for my parents and one grandmother has taught me that even the older, not so handsome people have value and I need to get their stories from them before it is too late. Far too often I've said, and heard it said, that we should have asked so and so before they lost their memory. A reunion is a great time to collect these stories and bloodline clues.
I've done this, and compiled some family history books. Which leads to another super reason to attend reunions. It's my richest market for selling my genealogy books! Once people realize they know this author, and they are IN my book they are ready to buy up.
Nancy Roebke of Network Ink, is an expert on Networking as a marketing technique. She gives advice for how to move around at a gathering, talking to people, asking them about their own lives and projects, and finding out how you might help them out. Nancy says to hand out your business card liberally, but also to request one from others, and to mark on the back what this person needs most. When you get home, send each one a note, and try to include a bit of information or news that person would appreciate or benefit from. Then ask if they know anyone who could use your business services.
I sometimes forget to hand out my business cards, but a family reunion is a terrific place to practice this kind of networking. I'm going armed with all my sales material for my novel as well as my genealogy books, and a good stash of business cards, and I do believe I'll have a very profitable time at this Friesen Family Reunion.
All Dad's siblings and cousins and their descendants have been invited across Canada. I made new friends at the previous one two years ago, and this one is to be much bigger, so I'll add to my "friends" collection and conduct a profitable business as well!
You may not have anything you want to sell, but you can enjoy your next reunion too. Be willing to help with the planning stages, and in the events.
This one called for quilt squares and recipes to be sent in with registration. The quilt(s) are to be raffled off, and cookbooks handed out. There will be an auction sale of memorabilia that we contribute, and a Sunday morning voluntary Fellowship Service, at which I'm to present a children's story.
I'm also looking forward to some intimate late night chats in a room with my sister and two of my aunts from different parts of the country. We may sit in the hot tub together too, but whatever we do, we'll learn to love and appreciate each all over again!
We'll leave Sunday at noon feeling like we belong to a very special clan, which was the whole point anyway.
P.S. if no one "does" reunions in your family, start one. Invite a few relatives over (or friends if you are alone in the world). Ask if they'd like to help organize a bigger gathering next year, or two years ahead. You may double from 3 or 4 people to 8 or 10, but the following reunion may well double that again. It may only be for a picnic one year, and an all day event the next time; there's room for adapting and no hard and fast instructions. Learn as you go.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
Ruth Marlene Friesen makes friends wherever she goes!
Her friends become her rare roses at Ruthes-SecretRoses.com
Order the softcover edition at Booklocker.com
And- Subscribe to her weekly ezine RoseBouquet
To follow and get to know Ruth better!
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
[Article may be reprinted only with this resource box].
Back Inspirational Articles (index)
Ruth Marlene Friesen
The Responsible One
Privacy Promises ~~
Sitemap
Ruthe's Secret Roses (official site)
©2001-2022 Ruth Marlene Friesen
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada