Four
When she walked in on the soft carpets and the sympathetic organ music, Ruthe found the girls waiting impatiently in the foyer for her. They insisted that she come sit with them.
While Muriel, in a short-skirted suede suit of burgundy, squeezed one of her hands, and Cathy, in a tight and stunning black and white linen dress, hugged her other arm, Ruthe glanced about the compact, grey and blue funeral chapel. This was a first for her and she could hardly hide her curiosity. She noticed the modern shaped pews were honey-brown, which she liked, but how the decorator fell on gold, purple and green stained windows and accent pieces puzzled her.
Glancing down at her own simple cotton dress
in nubby light blue plaid with pink rosebuds, she felt like a country lass from
another era.
Mr. Ian O'Brien, and his sons, Ross and Keith, sat in the
first short pew on the right. The two sisters and Ruthe were on the left. A
number of people were scattered through the rest of the pews, including four or
five ladies, each sobbing gently, quietly, under her gauzy black veil.
Fascinated, because none of the ladies in Kleinstadt ever dressed like that,
Ruthe asked Cathy who they were. She whispered back that they were some of her
mother's bridge friends. "I refuse to wear those veils," Cathy added. "This's
the seventies, for G#$%- oops."
Surrounding the ivory velvet casket at
the front were banks and tiers of flowers, many of them in huge white wicker
baskets with high arching woven handles. Some had wide ribbons wound
artistically across them with gold letters stapled to them that said, "Mother,"
"Darling Wife," and "Pearl."
Wow, Lord. Nice flowers! Yet she
sighed. Ruthe was used to packed out churches and long lines of people filing
soberly past the open coffin, either before or after the service. Here it was
closed. She got no farewell peek at her friend of three short weeks.
Looking around even after the priest began to speak, the odd colour
combinations grew on her. Parts of the service Ruthe didn't understand at all,
but she allowed for that. It seemed only right that Mr. O'Brien had called their
priest, Father Inglis, back from a trip, to conduct this service as a Catholic
one. Mrs. O'Brien had spent much time over the years bothering him for answers
in her search to be accepted in God's sight. What comforted Ruthe was that Pearl
had met God personally and knew she was forgiven and loved. She hoped the girls
remembered that.
During the solemn trip, for which the girls insisted she
come with them in the big black limousine to the sunny cemetery, Ruthe began to
feel like an intruder. A fresh sobbing at the lowering of the coffin was
inevitable, and she joined with the family. She had always found tears catching.
When they regained control and stumbled back to the long car, Cathy and Muriel
begged her to come home with them. Tea was to be served on the
lawn.
Ruthe expressed concern about having her car there so she could
leave for her shift at four, so Cathy instructed the driver to drop her off at
her car at the funeral home, and she followed them.
A catering maid was
ready to serve tea on a white lawn table with a glass top. Sandwiches and
cookies were arranged on doily-lined silver platters. Controlled and polite now,
the family stood about with their guests in the afternoon sunshine, sipping at
tea, and nibbling at the dainties.
Several ladies asked Ruthe to
introduce herself. Which she did.
For all their politeness and round of
sympathy kisses to each of the O'Briens, Ruthe noticed that they did not stay
long. Soon there were only the O'Briens, Father Inglis and Ruthe left.
Come to think, Ruthe glanced over the lovely green grounds,
surrounded by carefully chosen and placed background plants and trees, Ross
is not in sight any more. And, I bet those rosebushes are going to bloom next
week!
The priest had conducted the service without personal comment.
Now he stood facing one of his favourite parishioners, and drew him into
conversation about his deceased wife. He wanted to know more of the spiritual
experience the girls had mentioned about their mother. Ruthe froze in her pose,
wondering how Mr. O'Brien would answer, and whether she ought to go round the
table to join them.
What if he gets hostile and tries to pick apart
all your innocent theology? tormented her enemy, pleased to find her in a
quandary again. You don't want to start a quarrel. So what if it works in
your simple little life? You've got to be able to explain it if you are up
against a priest.
Turning aside to the rosebush, Ruthe moaned
silently, Now what do I do? A snatch of a Bible verse came to mind, and
she knew she didn't have to rely on herself for tact or wise words. She turned
around and drew closer to the two men.
"...So this is my first
opportunity to talk with you, Ian. Come, did Pearl really find a new way to
pray? Tell me about her beautiful experience."
"I'm not sure I
understand all of it myself. But Pearl says- Excuse me." He caught his forehead
with the heel of his hand, rearranged himself, and continued, "she read in the
Bible that, when anyone claims Christ's sacrifice and resurrection as completed
for oneself- then the Holy Spirit, or maybe God...." His voice trailed as he
looked about.
"Maybe one of the girls, or their new friend, can explain
it better."
Ruthe, standing behind him, was opening her mouth to
volunteer when Keith appeared at her side, tapping her shoulder.
She
turned to see him put his hands behind his back, with his shoulders squirming
nervously under his best blue suit. "Could I talk with you?"
"Sure." As
she moved away with Keith, she had a sudden premonition that he wanted to meet
God too.
"Let's take a walk around the far end of your house," she
suggested lightly. "I haven't seen your back yard yet."
Keith nodded
assent.
As they rounded the far corner of the glassed sunroom, Keith's
self-control broke and slipping his arms around Ruthe's waist he began to cry
with a whimper. Poking her fingers into his thick strawberry blond hair, she
waited.
In a moment or two he pulled back as if he'd just remembered he
was supposed to be too old for this. He dried his cheeks on the sleeve of his
suit jacket while Ruthe scrounged in her purse for a tissue that was not too
wrinkled and balled up.
Suddenly he could talk. "I- I guess you've been
thinking I didn't care about losing my Mom. Well, maybe my brother doesn't care,
but I- I do! I- ouh-h, I miss my Mom! I need my Mom!"
"I know you do,"
and Ruthe wrapped him to herself again.
"I feel so... so cold and naked
without her!"
"I know. On Friday night I felt like.... It's like someone
has chopped off one of your arms or legs, isn't it?"
Hiccupping with
emotion, he tried to tell her all his feelings at once. He couldn't talk to
anyone else in his family because they wouldn't believe he ever thought such
serious, grownup things. He was sorry about breaking up like this, but he'd seen
how his sisters had cried on her shoulder and found a friend in her. He wished
he could have a friend who really understood him properly. And, would she mind?
"Of course not, Keith. I'm only so glad you want to be my friend. I'm
glad too, that you had enough nerve to come and ask me, because I've lost mine
to ask you, several times."
Keith smiled a bit. They moved over to sit
on the thick blue-green grass in the shade of the two metre high hedge of
Chinese elm. It was a perfectly smooth, leafy wall except for one shady gap,
from which emerged a narrow footpath in the luscious lawn.
Keith was
looking earnestly into her face and blurted, "This- this business of having God
live inside you?"
"Yes?" Ruthe began to grin with anticipation.
"Well, I don't understand how it is possible, but if you explain it to
me slowly, could I try it too?"
"Sure you can! I'd love to!" Though she
was feeling eager, she paused for a moment to think. He was different from his
mother and sisters. From other kids his age too. Lord, how do I
begin?
Just like that she recalled an illustration that Pastor Ewert
had used only a Sunday or two ago. One she'd heard a number of times as a child.
Keith would identify with this story. "There was this boy, who had created from
almost nothing, from scratch, a masterpiece of a model ship. It was a beauty.
All the sails and ropes and everything done in realistic miniature."
"One day," she went on, "when this happy fella was trying it out for the
first time on an ocean beach some distance from his home, it sailed away on the
tide and he lost it. The poor kid was heartbroken. He'd put so much work and
tender care into that particular ship."
Keith leaned forward, drinking
in every word.
"Some time later, he spied that very same model in a local
shop window and immediately ran inside to claim it. The proprietor had bought
the ship and insisted the boy could only get it by paying the full
price."
Ruthe saw Keith reacted as intently to every nuance of a story as
she did.
"So," she continued, "that desperate, determined kid went to
his hiding place at home, and taking out every last cent he owned, he hurried
back to buy his own little ship! On the way home, someone overheard him
whispering to his precious model, 'There, little ship. Now you are twice mine.
First I made you and then I paid everything I had for you!"
Keith
understood. "I love to make things too; I know how he felt."
"That must
be a bit like God's feelings about us," Ruthe explained. "First He made you and
me. But we became lost. Our sins, like selfishness and our stubborn wills, took
us far away. That broke His heart. But by sacrificing Himself, through Jesus
(who was God in human form), He paid the price to get us back to enjoy His
precious companionship."
Ruthe raved about the thrill of having Jesus as
an intimate Friend.
Keith wanted to know, "About getting this; are kids
allowed in? How do I get initiated?"
"Remember the story of Pentecost?"
Ruthe asked, wondering if Keith had ever had some equivalent of Sunday School
classes on the Bible.
"Sort'a. I go to a Catholic Separate school, and I
don't always skip the religious instruction classes."
"Good. That was
when the Holy Spirit arrived after Jesus had gone back to heaven. Well, He has
been present with each one who believes that Jesus died for him or herself. This
is what makes Jesus so close and easy to talk to at any time. All you have to do
is choose to believe that Jesus is God's Son, and that when He died on the cross
and rose again from the dead, Jesus did that for you. You promise to walk with
Him all your life, and He comes to live with you by His Spirit."
"That's
all Mom and Muriel did?"
"Right. And just Friday night, Cathy did too."
Keith shook his head. "I couldn't figure it. Something sure got into
them!" His voice lowered. "Mom took me into her bedroom just last Sunday and
tried to tell me all about this. But- it sounded like nun talk. I guess I didn't
pay attention to Mom then."
His face puckered with regret. "Wish I had."
"No doubt your Mom did too. She wanted all of you to have the same
wonderful experience. However, I think God can still let her know today. What I
can't guarantee is that you will have another week to make up your mind."
"It sounds good," Keith answered carefully, "but, what if the kids at
school find out? Won't they think I'm kind'a queer?"
"Do you think,"
Ruthe leaned forward and spoke gently, "anything your friends could say might
make God a liar? He is far bigger and better than they. Your friends need to
hear about this fabulous friendship too!" Even as she said these words her
conscience twinged at her own reticence in sharing her Saviour with school
friends. She was always afraid they would laugh and say, "We know you; you're
just that mousy bookworm, Ruthe Veer."
Keith grinned. "They're the ones
to pity. Not me."
"Exactly. As soon as you choose to believe, God will
forgive you for Jesus' sake, and the Spirit of God will live with you always.
Maybe slowly at first, you will begin to have new attitudes. You'll see people
the way God does. In fact, I bet you will be eager to share Jesus with all your
friends."
Keith plucked some grass. "What do I do first? Pray?"
"That's best. You just talk to Him as though He is sitting right here."
Ruthe patted the grass in front of them. "Just tell Him what you've decided and
ask Him to do what He promised."
"Me? Does He promise me anything in
there?" He pointed to Ruthe's Bible on her knees.
"He sure did! Let me
show you." Ruthe picked it up very quickly, suddenly glad she took her Bible
with her to any kind of church service she attended, and opened it to First
John, scooting around sideways so Keith could read.
"This promise
says, 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and to forgive us our
sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness1.' And here,"
she flipped a page and pointed to a line shaded in red pencil. "You read this,
Keith."
"'Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God
dwelleth in him, and he in God2.' Hey, I'm reading it; like you
said!"
Excitedly, Keith read a few more verses at random. "De-cen-t! I'd
love to have a Bible! I've often wondered what secrets are in it."
"Shouldn't be too hard to arrange," Ruthe assured him, making a mental
note to tell his sisters.
He asked again if Ruthe would show him how to
talk to Jesus, so she bowed her head, thanking Him for Hiss love, and for
drawing Keith to Himself in the middle of his loneliness for his mother. "Please
make this loss up to Keith with Your extra-great friendship."
Keith said
a few words of greeting, apologized briefly for his past, and ended with, "So
long, Lord-Jesus-God. Be seein' You later." His head bobbed up, sparkling with
dewy cinnamon spots.
"I feel sort'a bathed."
He grabbed Ruthe's
hand as they got up. "Let's go tell the girls, eh?"
His sisters saw them
coming around the corner of the house and met them half way. "So that's where
the two of you are!"
"Cathy. Mur!" Keith blurted out his news in a rush.
The four of them formed a circle, linking arms, and passed around hugs.
Their huddle worked towards the lawn table where Father Inglis and Mr.
O'Brien sat watching and discussing them.
Ruthe studied Mr. O'Brien as
Keith sprinted toward his father. The man could hardly be more than forty-eight,
even with those greying temples in the sunshine. Yet now the haggard, forsaken
look on his face made him appear to be sixty-five and failing. So little seemed
to hold up his tall, thin frame, that Ruthe found herself wishing he would stay
seated. His loneliness ached vicariously in her heart, just as it had for the
others, although she was aware that she really did not know it as deeply as he
did.
She believed that simply trusting God and learning to discuss his
most intimate cares with the Lord would solve much of his problem, or at least
do wonders in easing his pain. But how could she explain that to a man as deep
and inquiring as Mr. O'Brien? He was looking for very complicated answers. Ruthe
squashed the idea of going behind the house with him the instant it entered her
mind. This would have to happen differently if Pearl was to get all her prayers
answered this day.
"Ah-ha, here she is," said Father Inglis gallantly as
they came nearer. "Young lady, we've been waiting to talk to you. Our girls have
been telling us about the new prayer practices you put forth. Are you a
charismatic, my dear?"
"No-o," Ruthe said slowly. "I don't think so,
Sir. I've heard the word, but I'm your basic, garden-variety, Bible-believing
Christian. If I'm different, it's only that I get so excitable about seeing
Christ do things in my daily life. I can't help but share it. I don't mean to
offend."
The elderly priest gathered his black jacket snugly around his
middle, and settled down in his lawn chair as if ready to debate.
"Girls," said Mr. O'Brien in a quiet aside to Cathy and Muriel. "We need
more chairs." They hurried off to bring some nearer from the other side of the
deserted tea table.
Keith drew up one of the closest chairs for Ruthe,
but after a moment's hesitation she suggested he offer it to his father. She
longed to sit on the cool grass again. It would impart some calm.
Mr.
O'Brien offered it to Ruthe once more. He accepted it back only after she said
shyly, questioningly, ""I really admire your luscious lawn, and if it's not rude
or impolite, I'd rather sit on it. May I?" When he nodded, she got down and
spread her gingham and floral printed dress skirt around her knees in a circle.
Father Inglis leaned toward her, eager to start.
Keith dropped
cross-legged, as far as his suit allowed, at his dad's feet and looked up eager
to see if this were a good moment to tell what had transpired behind their
house.
Mr. O'Brien glanced from Keith to Ruthe, and both saw that he had
caught on. He laid a long hand on Keith's head and swallowed his adam's apple
with great care.
Oh-h-ew dear Lord! Please choose my words!
Ruthe's limp, worn Bible lay open on her knees, and now her downcast eyes fell
on a heavily underlined part in First Thessalonians, with the words, "We
which are alive and remain...." Yes. Her eyes whisked over to the beginning
of the passage. This was the one to share.
She looked up again to catch
what Father Inglis was saying to her.
"-What you've been telling these
people? One should think you would be offering hope that their mother may be in
heaven some day. Instead, the girls are saying, you've talked about forgiveness
and chatting informally with God."
"But you see, Sir, they already know
that their mother's in heaven. God promises eternal life to all who trust
Christ. The problem is to make sure they will be there to meet her."
"Of
course, dear." The priest harrumped as if putting something aside.
"The
Lord Jesus told us," she patted her old Bible, "that whatever we ask of our
Heavenly Father, believing we receive it, we shall have. Mrs. O'Brien asked with
faith for forgiveness and assurance of that forgiveness. She got it!"
Ruthe looked kindly at Mr. O'Brien, hoping to draw him in on her side.
"Her confidence was beautiful on Friday night, wasn't it?"
He spoke
carefully, she realized, to avoid hurting her feelings as he answered, "Yes, but
there is more to obtaining divine and eternal grace than simply believing you
have it because you asked. Isn't there?"
Ruthe took a deep breath. "God
has the best of love and meaning in mind for our lives, right? However, we can't
experience it as we are, because- well, just as a spot of darkness cannot stay
near a light, so our souls cannot come directly into His Holy presence. Except
that God loved us so much that He came up with the only solution. He became
human. He became me, and took my death sentence for sin. Since He arose again in
a new, glorified body, so will I! By faith we may live a new spiritual kind of
life now, before we even get our new glorified bodies. Doesn't your Bible teach
that, Father Inglis?"
She forgot her fears as her voice rose in joyous
enthusiasm. "Every part of the Bible declares it to be this way, and the fact
that I see its results in my own life and in others, proves it!"
"Another Martin Luther." Father Inglis cleared his throat. "Uhk-um. I
grant you all that for the moment. However, you've also been saying that God
speaks audibly to you?"
"Audibly? No." Ruthe was cautious now, watching
for a trap. Still, she wanted to be honest and polite. "Though I have
experienced God's Spirit speaking in my conscience to reprove me, and in my
intuition to guide me. That's a knowing." She smiled a tiny smile. "My
imagination, which loves words, can easily supply those."
The girls had
pulled up chairs for themselves on either side of Ruthe, and everyone seemed to
be waiting for her to continue.
"Mind you, God does speak in other ways.
Frequently He may grant us specific signs we've prayed for. Sometimes He'll show
us by the advice and example of Bible characters or more mature Christians.
Usually, we have good clues from the circumstances we find ourselves in, but we
can always know His opinion and plan by earnestly studying His Word, the Bible.
Least-ways, if we are prepared to obey."
Ruthe had said quite a
mouthful. Maybe it sounded like a sermonette. She stopped and waited.
The priest sat doubled forward on his wooden slat chair, chin on his
fist, staring right through Ruthe, into his thoughts.
Mr. O'Brien was
lost in thought too, as if weighing each phrase of her statements against some
inner scale.
Suddenly Ruthe remembered the passage from First
Thessalonians. "Cathy, Muriel?" she said softly, trying not to disturb the two
men digesting her words. "Let me show you something."
They moved closer.
Keith leaned nearer too.
She read in a lowered voice, beginning at,
"But I would not have you to be ignorant brethren, concerning them which are
asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope...." and
ending with, "Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together
with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be
with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these
words3."
Muriel looked up into the sky with anticipation.
"I didn't even realize that was in the Bible!" exclaimed Cathy. "That's
when we'll see Mom again!"
Father Inglis spoke, "All quite commendable,
m'dear. I used that passage this afternoon myself. But be careful when you're
reading the Scriptures so freely. Not everything is meant to be taken literally,
you know."
"I understand your point, Sir. False doctrines have come from
taking a verse out of context; but this passage means just what it says and it
becomes clearer when it is studied with other related chapters." Oh Lord, am
I too bold to talk like this? Ruthe whispered on another level.
She
turned the thin pages, trying to think of good examples. While she did, she
found herself saying, "God also tells us His Word is spiritual and can only be
understood through His Spirit. We must first have that indwelling of His by
faith before we can grasp these- well, more profound truths."
"Meaning,"
asked Cathy, "Only those who walk and talk with Him, in that garden walk you
told us about, can understand the Bible?"
"Yes, we could say that. If,
as Christians, we refuse to read God's Word because we're afraid of
misinterpreting it, we are as badly off as a certain little old lady who refused
to eat foods of all kinds when she learned she could be poisoned by certain
sorts of mushrooms."
Keith snickered mildly, "Sounds like our Granny."
This took everyone off on a tangent while Cathy and Muriel explained
about their Granny O'Brien living in that tall grey stone building on the other
side of that elm hedge.
Ruthe's eyes followed the path that disappeared
in the gap. For a split second she expected a humpbacked old woman with a
pointed chin to come through waving a gnarled stick.
"She fought with Mom
for years," said Muriel. "I wonder who she will pick on now?"
Mr. O'Brien
stirred uncomfortably in his chair. "Come now, girls, that is no way to talk
about your grandmother."
In an effort to bring the conversation back to
theological matters, he turned to Ruthe. "I don't see how you can have Christ,
or as you like to say, the Holy Spirit, living within you and communing with you
all day, when they are members of the Triune God."
Oh-oh, Lord;
help! Ruthe prayed, blinking her eyes for a moment, before she said, "I'm
afraid I don't understand the physics of it either." She smiled and cocked her
head in a friendly manner. "I do know that God manifests or shows Himself in
three Persons, all equal. Take a man: he can be a son, a husband, and a father
all at the same time. I don't know, Mr. O'Brien; this is one of those areas
where we have to trust God, let's Him be the One who knows all things, and
exercise spiritual faith. If we have physical evidence, we can only exercise
physical faith, right?"
"My child, how long have you believed all this?"
asked the priest.
"Oh, I've known these Bible facts all my life.
However, I was about nine when I prayed and asked the Lord Jesus to forgive me.
It's only just been in the last few years that I've begun to realize what that
really meant. I've spent many hours trying to understand myself, and God. He
seems very friendly and willing to teach me."
Ruthe glanced at Muriel,
who was drinking in each word. "I still struggle with new truths, but a lot of
them have started to fit together for me." She gripped her Bible tightly. "It's
all in here, if one takes time to read, and think, and ask for understanding."
Just thinking about these growing stages flooded her with memories. The
little group was so attentive, Ruthe found herself rambling on. There was the
time she had learned to vanquish jealousy and love Greta, her sister, or
Suzanne, as she wanted to be called. She digressed to explain; one day as her
sister complained about her old-fashioned name, Ruthe looked up from a magazine
borrowed from a school friend. She suggested Greta ask everyone to call her
something new, like Suzanne, which she saw there on the page. Greta had been
doing it ever since. Their parents couldn't understand trading one good
Mennonite name for another, but now they called her Suzanne.
"The bigger
miracle is; I'm learning to love my prettier sister as she is. Without trying to
make her over."
Ruthe didn't notice she had slipped into a storyteller
mode. She just knew that she was able to talk about things she thought, and
nobody was cutting her off. "A couple of weeks back," she went on, "The Lord
showed me that He could supply courage as well as the desire to help someone. He
gave me action when I was frozen with panic. As a result I met Muriel. Since
then," she smiled around, "all of you."
The next instant, Ruthe had a
sinking feeling that it was late in the afternoon. Glancing at her watch, she
blushed, but avoided sighing with relief. She might still make it to work!
"Ack-um. You both confirm and blow up what I know of Mennonites," said
the man in black, stiffly. He rose and straightened his cramped back. "May God
always bless you, m'child." With a courteous nod to the family, he about-faced
and marched to his car in the drive.
"He has long looked for live saints
who live exactly as they believe," murmured Mr. O'Brien.
Ruthe gazed
kindly at the speaker. His own face showed wrenching decision-making.
Cathy and Muriel saw it too, and went to either side of him. Keith went
to hug his dad's knees. "Oh Daddy," whispered Muriel, encircling his neck from
behind. "It's all true. If you could feel it for a minute you'd know!"
Cathy stood bent at his other side. With long fingers that reminded one
of her mother, she lifted his chin. Without a word, but with her mother's eyes,
she pled with him to join them in this venture.
"Oh-h- girls," he said
hoarsely. He turned to stare into the west where the sun was just dipping behind
the tops of the trees. But all his concentration could not keep tears from
blurring his vision.
Ruthe held her breath, not wanting to break the
spell as he made his momentous decision.
"All right," he said very
deliberately. "Al-l ri-right. Why put it off?" Three pairs of arms tangled
around him.
Blushing, Ruthe scrambled up, looking at her watch. At the
same time recalling she had not seen Ross since- well, since the funeral. Where
was he?
She tapped Cathy's shoulder and whispered, "Listen; I'm glad with
you. But I've got to run to skid into the toll room on time. And, maybe you
ought to check around for Ross."
(c) 2001 Ruth Marlene Friesen
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