Discern When to Keep a Secret

How can you tell when it's right to keep a secret? Sometimes someone will ask you to keep a secret and deep down inside you wonder if it is the right thing to do.

It's true; some people delight in doing wrong on the sly, and they want you to help them hide that - let's call it what it is - SIN. You don't want to aid and abet them in wrong-doing. So how can we discern when to keep a secret?

Let's look at some likely situations where you need to know whether to keep the secret or refuse.

- A friend tells you juicy gossip, which may or may not be 100% true, and it could hurt someone.

- You see or hear something, either true or not true, that could ruin another person, or smear a leader.

- You discover that a superior or co-worker is breaking the law.

- You discover a cure or remedy for a common ailment.

- You find lost or stolen property, a mini-windfall for you!

- You find a way to solve a common problem that could make you rich if you develop it right.

- You have intimate times between you and your spouse.

- Someone shares a confidence - nothing illegal or evil - just baring their heart and mind.

- You are tempted to sin in an area of sin - embarrassed to death, but can't cope or get out of it.

Can you tell in which of those situations you should keep it a secret and seal your mouth on that issue? In which situations ought you to be brave and speak up - maybe not to everyone, but to the right people? When should you forget about secrecy and broadcast it widely as far as your sphere of influence goes.

You are still not sure on some of them. They are not all so black and white, are they?

Let's consider three guidelines to help us discern when to keep a secret.

Do not repeat a secret if;
the information is someone else's property, or if the information (or gossip) could hurt someone. Another instance would be - sexual intimacy with a spouse - that is for you two alone - don't expose such secrets either. Unless, of course, there is abuse, and you need help to escape an evil situation.

Tell, or break a secret to only the appropriate, select people if;
someone is plotting to hurt another, a great sin or lawlessness can be averted, or something stolen or broken can be restored. Another instance may be that you need help fighting temptation and sin, and you want to be held accountable by others. Obviously, you must confide in just the right people.

Tell the secret to everyone if;
none of the above apply - and others would benefit from the knowledge in the secret, or if you know of a natural remedy that would save lives, or if you have a solution to a common problem. The guide here is that it will better the lives of others, and will not break the confidence of someone who has greater ownership of the secret knowledge, and it will not create an evil and sinful situation, or cause great danger and peril.

In my novel, Ruthe's Secret Roses, the main character keeps secret from her family the things she does when she goes to the city of Saskatoon to work. She is afraid her parents would find fault with her new friendships, and is convinced they would prevent her from continuing her time there. in her panic and fear she builds a false scenario of consequences. With time they grow in her mind until her fears are all out of proportion.

Fortunately, she desires to please and obey God, and that gives Him an opening to drop seeds of truth into her mind, and to give her heart courage to do what is right. Ruthe well knew the skill of keeping her mouth shut. She needed to learn to discern when it is right and good to open it up and tell some secrets on herself.

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