Ruth Marlene Friesen: Welcome!
This site is like Ruthe,
the heroine of my novel,
Ruthe's Secret Roses
Ruthe is . . .
intimate with God,
prays a lot,
a bleeding heart for the hurting,
a big sister,
has creative ideas,
likes to give
loyal to friends,
dreams of love and
dreams of writing a book
goes the extra mile
So this site offers;
good books to read!
help to become Friends with Jesus,
The One Ideal Real Friend
a cure for loneliness
An Older Sister's Coping Secret
how to pray Panic Prayers,
how to grow in faith
how to share your faith
Psst! I've got FREE taste treats of the novel ready for YOU! DOWNLOAD the first 3 chapters as an
eBOOK in beautiful colours, or read the first 8 chapters on this site, if you have time to stay a while. Start READING HERE!
OR, you can subscribe to a daily series of installments by email until you have read the 8 Chapter Sampler:
Wish you could have a heart-to-heart talk with God?
Ruthe does. All the time, where ever she goes, she's having a running conversation with the one she
calls Lord, or my Best Friend. You've got to
meet Ruthe! AND her Secret Roses.
Letter to Younger Relatives in the Extended Family
We're just back from a Reunion of my Dad's Friesen Cousins. He is the oldest one of that
generation now, at 90. All those older than him in that extended clan have died, and even a number
of those younger than Dad.
As I looked over that generation of first cousins I saw the signs of aging since the last reunion
three years ago. I'm sort of between, in that I have socialized with most of them at different
times, and yet I am one of the younger - the next generation of second cousins and third... and so
on. I'm plumb in the middle of that generation gap. This gives me a unique perspective.
Allow me to give you some tips today on how best to relate to those older First Cousins (the 75-90
They find travel and being away from their familiar daily routines and foods and beds - in a word,
difficult. When they come out to an over night event, do your best to make them comfortable.
But even better idea would be to go pay them a visit on their own turf. They tire out easily and
need their naps, so those visits can be short, an hour or two at the most, but try to make them more
frequently then before. Though there might be the odd exception, they will be delighted to see you!
Most of them are conscientiously downsizing their possessions, because either they are, or will be
moving into smaller apartments or rooms soon. This means that they don't really need big display
gifts. If you know they love flowers, a single rosebud in a pretty vase would be better than a large
bouquet for which they have no space. Most still treasure photographs, but I discovered that some
are disposing of theirs. If they find no one is interested - they consign them to the garbage! (I
managed to inherit some at the reunion by expressing chargrin that they would throw these out).
If you have any interest in your family history, you ought to go visit them now, ask them for their
stories and memories, and if they are dumping photos and documents that might help you or your
children in future research, be ready to rescue them.
Generally, the gift they want and appreciate most, that you spend a few minutes, maybe an hour,
sitting up close in front of them, for one-on-one conversation. Sitting beside them means they will
crank their upper body sideways so they can read your lips when you speak. Even if not totally deaf,
many have become hard of hearing, and most have vision problems.
My Mom used to say that she hated those large group meetings in a room where many were talking at
once. It sounded like a hen house, with everyone going "Bak-bak-BAK!" but she couldn't make out the
words people, even close to her, were saying. At the reunion a number of other seniors expressed the
same thought. They sat quietly or slumped together when the dining room was abuzz with chatter, or
when there was a program type of event - especially if people avoided the mikes - because they
understood no one. If I talked to them off to one side, or out on the deck, they came alive and were
eager to have a conversation.
In fact, many of them are early risers. I am too, so when I came in from my walk all over the camp
grounds before breakfast, or even if I stepped into the dining hall before that for a glass of
water, here were a huddle of these seniors, who had been up since about 6 AM, patiently waiting for
the rest of the world to wake up and come put out some breakfast. That turned out to be the best
time to visit with a number of them. They were rested, their minds were alert, and they were very
willing to visit with me in the large quiet room.
One of these ladies, when I met her in the ladies washroom was quite put out and pouting because she
was not having a good time. Another one confided to me that she would not come next time because she
couldn't make out what others were saying, and hardly anyone spoke to her.
But then there was Dad's cousin Nick from Manitoba, God bless him, who is legally blind and deaf,
but could still manage to see and hear a bit when talking one-on-one with individuals. He made it
his business to seek out each of his cousins, and then began on the next generation. He pulled them
aside, and asked them about their lives, and how they were doing, and he listened patiently with his
hand cupped behind his ear. When he got to me, I thought of Helen Keller, and commended him for
this effort. Nick smiled and said softly, "God has been good to me so many years, surely I can bear
with a few inconveniences the last part of my journey home."
Do you see that when you take time to honour and respectfully meet these older relatives on their
own terms you and are only going to bless ourselves in the end? There are things we can learn from
them that will save us heartache and wrong turns in life.
Not all are mature and godly mentors, and focused on blessing us, but all still have the gift of
life, and are made by God. To reject or disregard these relatives is to dishonour their Creator. I
am also convinced, as my dear Grosz'mama Kroeker taught me, (and as the Bible teaches too), that we
are going to experience in our old age, the same kind of treatment that we give others right now.
The best insurance for lots of loving visits and attention when we grow frail and helpless, is that
we give that to others while we still can.
Another lesson I learned is that appearances can be deceiving. A senior that looks the least likely
to be the opposite underneath is probably going to surprise you. A very serious, rigid-looking adult
can turn out to the funniest cut-up. A bow-legged cowboy with stiff joints may be willing to go up
on a high pulley swing in a harness, and allow himself to be hoisted three stories up off the
ground, and whirled in the air.
If you need a friend, and are prepared to be a friend first, you will find wonderfully ripe pickings
among the seniors. They are not hung up on having only people their own age for friends, they are
ready to connect to anyone who takes time to slow down and talk with them. They may have touching or
funny stories about your parents and grandparents, and viewpoints that you won't benefit from if you
don't meet them on their ground.
Sure, they may die soon, and if you've grown fond of them, you'll miss them, but if you don't reach
out in friendship and kindness to the seniors in your world, you will lose out on far better lasting
Ruthe's Secret Roses available
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Read it Right NOW!
In the Garden
Tips & Solutions
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