A Letter to "Lonely Heart"
Dear Lonely Heart,
Novel: Order --
(I will call you Lou, to protect your privacy, okay?)
You said you hate Christmas because it's the loneliest
time of the year. I've been thinking about it and want
to talk this over with you, if I may.
You didn't tell me, Lou, so I've been speculating as
to what might be the causes of your loneliness.
Christmas is very much a season for getting together
with other people, especially family members or loved
ones. Therefore, the first reason might be that you
have no loved ones to gather with.
There are lots of times I don't feel fully understood
by my family members, even most acquaintances, but I
always know there are those who do love me nevertheless.
Picturing you without anyone loving you at all strikes
me as a very severe kind of loneliness. Especially if
you observe that others are receiving such warm love
and exchanging special gifts.
On the other hand, you might have a loving family or
a few dear friends who love you tremendously, but if
you are not able to be with them at Christmas, when
you know that other families do have each other in
arms' reach... well, that must be a bittersweet
pain as well.
When I lived far from my family, there was that touch
of homesickness, but I had other relatives and friends
to keep me busy and involved, so it wasn't quite so
hard. Right now I have a sister who is far from me,
and I think of her every day. But again, I don't think
I feel near the loneliness you are experiencing, Lou.
It occurs to me that there are some individuals who
literally have no one they trust or feel close to,
despite the fact they are surrounded by people they
know and who know them. There is that weird kind
of loneliness of spirit that happens even at a very
crowded and lively family gathering, or in a street
mob of hundreds or thousands.
Is that the kind of loneliness you have, Lou?
I suppose there are still other possible reasons;
depression, persecution, imprisonment, - makes me
morose just thinking of these things!
So what can you do to become unlonely, Lou?
In thinking back to times when I have felt most lonely,
I realize what kept me from going over the brink was
that I knew God still loved and cared for me. It was
my only hope, and caused me to cry out to Him, and to
lean heavily on every promise of His I found in the
Bible. From my current, much happier perspective, I
realize that this great Lover of our Souls is waiting
eagerly in the wings to love you into happiness and
In fact, the more I dwell on who God is, and the
beauty and intricacy of this world, the whole universe
and His dealings with us, His created human beings, the
more I know, with a triumphant joy in my heart, that He
loves every single person who has ever lived. He loves
us with this unfathomable love!
But He has made this marvelous relationship of love
optional to us. We must choose to receive His love,
and to choose it, someone has to tell us about Him.
Otherwise, God will continue to seem vague and cool
and distant to us. Even though He isn't far at all.
Because I've experienced His love up close and personal,
this thought that you'll miss out if no one tells you
revs me up with a holy boldness. I must overcome any
shyness I have to tell you this good news!
Now, God is so awesome in His power and holiness and
high standards that most people are afraid to get close
to Him. He solved that though, by coming to earth as
one of us, starting out as a baby - in a manger, where
cows and donkeys had drooled as they munched their hay.
Jesus Himself said, "If you have seen me, you have seen
the Father (God)." So if we want to know what God is
really like, invisible Spirit though He be, we can get
to know Jesus from the stories in the New Testament.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John do a wonderful job of
making Jesus come alive in the stories they tell. Please
do read them!
I learned about Him through sermons and Sunday
School lessons as I was growing up, but my best, most
reliable source has been my Bible. I read it every day,
and re-reading only opens my understanding to nuances
that I missed in previous readings.
It was in reading and praying and re-reading that I got
to know Jesus, and thus God, in the most intimate ways
in the most lonely days and months of my life. Over the
years He has become so precious to me, that even if I
had absolutely no one to spend Christmas with - it would
not matter. I would not be totally alone and unloved.
What is more, knowing that He loves me, and I love Him,
makes me a friendlier, more out-going and loving person
to others, family, friends, or strangers. I see today
that is why I get so much love back from others. I
have learned to love people, because God first loved
So Lou, now I'm all excited! I want you to have all
As I see it, you can start immediately. Take my word
for it that God loves you and is eager to show it to
You. On the basis of that, reach out to Him by telling
Him honestly all your thoughts and feelings. Ask Him
to come into Your life, and be your Best Friend. Ask
Him to clear away all that is unlovely and unlovable
in you, and to fill you with as much of His love as
you can hold at this time.
Feelings are unreliable, especially at the beginning,
so you need to believe that He hears and answers you.
Over time, because He knows every little detail about
you, He will use the perfect way to communicate His
love to you. You'll KNOW that you know His love!
Get a Bible and start to read, stopping to think,
and to tell Him your response to everything that
catches your attention.
Do not be afraid to let the tears flow and wrinkle up
the pages of your Bible. They will be healing and He
will save up every tear drop and put it away in a
bottle labeled with your name up in Heaven.
(Hey, He's got shelves full of bottles with my name on
them already! Psalms 56:8 says he treasures them; He
writes down all our laments in a scroll too).
I feel confident, Lou, that you'll not feel lonely
very long any more. By next Christmas, you'll be so
busy loving others because you love the Lord, that
you'll be surrounded by people who want to show you
some love and attention too!
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© 2001-2009 Ruth Marlene Friesen
Bouquet of Enterprises
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada